- Companion: Elder Heath
- Area: Kingwood 2nd
This week has been a roller coaster of thoughts. I really want to be a successful missionary as defined by Preach My Gospel, or I guess you can say consecrated, or fourth missionary. But I don’t feel like I’m very close at all. To go along with that, we had a “homecoming talk” (no such thing anymore) on Sunday. And Sister Thomas shared her mission experiences, and “reported” on her mission and I thought about my mission so far and if I had to report on it. I couldn’t really think of very much worth talking about. I mean I’ve learned a lot, and have a stronger testimony, but it doesn’t take a lot to say that. So I decided, again, I need to make my mission worth remembering, and the way I want to do that is just serve the best I can. The only problem is I don’t feel like I’m doing my best at all. And I’ve been trying hard everyday to do so but I feel like I’m getting no where in this endeavor.
After the constant praying for help I’ve been doing I’m starting to see the blessings come from it. Last week with the Zone Leaders and giving me a blessing, this week Elder Heath and Elder Souza said something to me, and I realized I have been making a difference in their life’s as well as others. I’m just so set on the fact I want to be helping people towards greater faith in Christ and eventually to baptism that I forget about my companions and other missionaries around me. I’ve come to realize that I have not be placed where I am solely to help the Ward and the nonmembers, but that I have been
placed where I am to help my companions, and my district. The spirit pointed out to me that at one point or another I have touched every one I have served around. How I don’t know. But several of these missionaries have made subtle comments to me about it over the months and I haven’t even thought much about it until now.
I realize the blessings of the atonement and Christ role in my life and that he puts me where I need, when I need to be there, to help people in a way I might not realize. I have accepted and realized that truth, but now I need to internalize it. “After all, what can [I]
do?” Me myself, nothing. After all “Grace is not the prize at the end of the climb but the enabling power through-out” I still have to keep climbing, I’m not done yet. I just need to endure to the end and endure it well. And that’s the hard part.